Aching
by Irishneko18
Summary: The sequel to 'Tired.' InuYasha thinks back on his now failed marriage. How will Kagome and InuYasha react when the love that they both still have surfaces and mixes with guilt and sorrow? InuYasha must figure out a way to redeem himself. And Kagome must decide whether she will try again. Inu/Kag


Disclaimer: I do not own anything that is InuYasha

**A/N: **This is a sequel to my other story _Tired;_ it goes into more of InuYasha's POV on the whole break up. It is not essential to read the first story, although it gives more of a background, but you can still follow along with this one easily.

**Aching**

The lawn was overgrown; the roses along the stone walkway along the house were tangled and growing into the gravel mortar of the side walk. InuYasha gave a sad glance towards the front door, seeing the over filled mail box, the boxes of returned clothing. This house, with its now dusty corners, sad walkways, dirty floors and dark rooms was a perfect reflection of _him._ His world, the brightness that used to shine and light all the dark corners had disappeared, leaving him feeling cold and distraught.

His hand shook as he lifted his hand towards to the screen door, hearing the ear shattering screech as old hinges were forced to open. Deep within he felt his heart panic, race at the thought of seeing this house in a now different way.

They, as in him and his now ex-wife, had decided, or the lawyers had agreed on, that both parties should leave the house for an extended length of time. This would allow his ex-wife, Kagome, time to return and gather all of her things. These things, clothing, appliances, or anything with material value was to be cataloged, and then given to InuYasha. He would look over all of the items; check off that everything that Kagome had gathered was her own and that she was allowed to have it. She had declined his financial help, even though he had begged his lawyer to keep pushing it. The only thing she asked for was to keep the wedding album, saying that although it would mean nothing to him; it would mean something to her.

He had regrets, many of them, slowly building towards the thousands. He replayed their marriage and was filled with a great sorrow and great remorse. He had been a jackass, plain and simple, had let the greatness of his father's money and his new position get to his head.

He knew that Kagome wasn't perfect either, and deep down he still held a kind of…harshness towards her, a feeling that made him feel guilty right after feeling it. She had destroyed his carefully constructed world, no his _worlds. _He had his world as a husband, albeit not a good one, but one that cared for his wife financially, giving her all the materials a woman could want. Yet, as an emotional husband he had failed terribly, he had taken their marriage with a flash of an eye and never looked right at it.

The probation period for the house was a long awaited three months, in this time he had moved into a plush, luxury hotel in the center of Tokyo. It was bright, like velvet on silk type of feel. The first month he had looked upon the upcoming divorce as a new beginning. He was rich, young, talented, a Co-CEO to one of the biggest companies in Tokyo, Japan. He had the world at his feet…yet, there was no one there to take the step. His secretary, the woman he had been caught sleeping with by his housewife, had joined him in his office one afternoon to continue their tryst.

Kagome had taken the role of housewife as a job, having wanted to continue her hunt for a financial position at his father's company, yet InuYasha had cut her down. How many times had he been physical to the point of leaving marks? How many times had he left her to fend for herself in an empty house?

She had finally, after five years of betrayal, caught him in the act. Had walked into his office, her eyes a bright blue in the light, her hair styled to enhance high cheekbones and saw with a startled look him bending his secretary over his desk.

He had once gone over what he thought would have happened if Kagome ever caught him, he thought she would cry, beg him to stop and than just accept that he wasn't going to. _He _had been the one that was startled, she hadn't cried, she had yelled, hit and then told him to basically kiss his ass and that this was the last straw, and then the divorce.

The kitchen was a mix of missing appliances and dusty chrome. She had taken the dishwasher; he had found out later on that she had given it to her ailing mother. The floor he remembered had always been clean, ridges and edges scrubbed of any debris, Kagome would spend hours looking after the large house he had chosen. He had never noticed how large the rooms were or how many there were. She had done some minor changes, put the drapes down before she left, making sure everything was unplugged, simple yet so practiced.

_Flashback: Five Years Ago_

Work had been interesting for InuYasha, he was young and still green around the edges. His position, besotted to him by his father, had given his confidence a boost. The sun was setting in the sky, leaving bright streaks of purples and pinks in the sky. The sun had been hot, but the wind had given the day a pleasant feel. He had opened his new office window and looked down at the city; saw the lights starting to come on, on the street below. InuYasha sighed, a sigh filled with contentment. It was strange, this change in his life. He had graduated, married, gotten this high-paying job.

His mind switched to his home life, Kagome, his beautiful Kagome, how he loved her. Yet, when he talked of work, talked of his daily professional life, he had seen her tense up. Her shoulders had straightened, yet she had smiled, given a thinned lipped happy grin in his direction.

His initial thought was jealously, than as she asked if he could talk to his father for her, to help get her a job, he became almost angry. Not almost angry, he did become angry, he finally understood.

Kagome didn't love him, she didn't care for him. And it might be that he was being over critical. But he thought of their lives together so far. She had majored in Business after learning more about his father's company, had developed a deep interest in it, in him. He was just a side project for her to get to her final goal; he was nothing more than a means to an end goal.

He became cold inside, saw shades of red as she smiled and laughed and he pushed and smiled back, one full of new found distrust.

_Flashback: Present_

He had been stupid, so stupid. His confidence, his new found paranoia of everyone around making him see his college sweetheart and wife as someone that might use him. He knew after hearing her say divorce that his critical analysis of her was so cynical. She had been a woman who just happened to fall in love with a man whose family had the same interests she did.

The bedroom where they had made love the first night they moved in was spotless except for the dust. It had, over the years of distrust and increased betrayal, more of Kagome's room then his own. He had taken to sleeping at the hotel, renting a luxurious room for him and his flame of the week. The bed was stripped of its linens, having gone with Kagome. The dresser, his from his college years, was cleaned out, leaving behind some old clothes of his. He walked around the room, his now bare feet making a soft scratching as he continued around the bed. She had repainted the walls before she had left the house entirely. Through the years, with her increased melcholy and boredom, Kagome had begun to make the house more of a home without him. She had done the room in a soft teal, and given the room a strong accent wall behind the headboard. It had been beautiful, yet he had done some of his worst with Kagome there.

_Flashback: Three Years Ago_

"What in living hell did you do?" He stepped into the doorway, eyes looking back and forth at the new color on the walls. It was bright, and he didn't like to think bright when he was with a woman who only wanted to deceive him. Since finding out her plan, he had taken it upon himself to make her feel that she would never be qualified to work with his family. She had gained a bit of weight and he had picked her apart because of it.

But the truth was that he had always been attracted to her. There, beneath the surface, was an insatiable lust for her, both her body and soul. Her eyes were a calming color, and her body had subtle curves. The added weight which he pointed out frequently actually helped enhance her looks. It added a softer look to her, a more defined look.

"I thought it would be nice to make some changes," She was wringing her hands, looking back and forth between him and the brightly colored accent wall. "It's supposed to be calming."

"This color," he pointed a sharp hand towards the teal, "is not calming!"

Color rose to her cheeks, an embarrassed "sorry" left her lips before she left the room. She never changed it, but he could tell that she was fighting down her tears.

Within he felt like an asshole, but logically he figured that this was just one more step for her redemption for using him.

_Flashback: Present_

He had gone through the house, had felt cold reality settle in around him. After the probation for the house he would be allowed to move back in, and she would move in with her family. He had heard Kagome having a conversation with her lawyer; he was asking about her mother, had asked about how she was doing. By the sad, grief-stricken look that came upon Kagome's face he could tell she wasn't doing well at all.

He hadn't asked about her ailing mother in years, hadn't wanted to become any more personal with her than he already was.

_Flashback: One Week Ago_

"Kagome, you are allowed to receive a monthly allowance for the first six months of your separation as a replacement for loss of financial aid." Her lawyer was glancing at the drawn papers, glasses settled low on his noise, moon face and balding head leaned down to read it more carefully. InuYasha and the family lawyer set across from him, glancing over the same papers.

InuYasha glanced out of the corner of his eye, watching as she leaned towards her lawyer, whispering feverishly as he finished going over the contract. She was wearing a suit, something he hadn't seen since college, her hair was freshly cut, a choppy, chic look that enhanced her jaw line. She looked…different. He had been keeping in touch, privately, with Kikyo Masuda, in the Business department. She had not been happy with his curiosity and worry about Kagome in the business, but surprisingly Kagome was doing better than some veterans. She had reorganized and re-categorized half the department before even finishing unpacking her supplies.

She had earned a reputation for being hard to deal with but fair when dealing with others. She was a secretary but she understood the ins and outs of the business. Her mellow and soft attitude that she had developed through their short marriage had changed back to the determined one she had, had in college.

"No," Kagome said it simply but with steal in her voice. "I don't want any of his money; I don't want any ties to him." She waved her hand towards the contract.

"But…Kagome," InuYasha's lawyer was hesitant, he had known Kagome for years, had felt like she was a niece that he never had. Yet, his professional opinion and personal one was not to overlap and he repeated the chant until he thought he might believe it. "This contract is legally binding and that is all, you will not be in contact with Mr. Tashio."

"I don't want his money," She folded her arms and sat back.

"Kagome, dear, if that is what you want we will remove the clause." Her lawyer patted her shoulder in a reassuring way and talked quietly with his lawyer. He thought that it was now or never for him to even attempt to apologize.

"Kagome…" Voice soft, InuYasha almost thought she didn't hear him, yet when she shot him a hostile glare he thought differently. It appeared that his almost ex-wife was not fond of him at all.

_Flashback: Present_

She would not talk to him. He had called, emailed, and even begged her grandfather, yet, nothing happened. It was understandable that she didn't want to communicate with him. She didn't want anything else to do with him. He had kept her from her future, from making a loving family, from her career, from her family and friends. He was the castle that kept Rapunzel from the ground. The apple that put Snow White into a deep sleep.

He opened drawers and found a few remaining clothes, he turned towards the closet. When he had left he hadn't bothered to look in there or pack any of the clothing that he had left there. He pushed towards the closed door and slowly opened it. There was still a bit of a soft smell left by her perfume, it was only a small amount. It reminded him of good and bad memories, hurt and love. Bitter emotions to mix. There were pressed slacks and work shirts of his, there were no clothing of hers.

He glanced around the closet, and glanced down quickly and found a box. Well it looked like a box. It was wrapped in shiny paper, looking too bright and happy in the now gloomy space. He reached a hesitant hand to it, lifting the slip of paper attached to the soft box. It was her handwriting, saying it was to him for their university. His eyebrows beetled and he found his heart beating painfully. Of course, their anniversary, he had always made himself forget.

"What the hell could it be?" He wondered aloud, his voice crackling from not being used. The present looked like it had been in the closet for a while; the floor had a distinct dust around where the present had been on the floor. He lifted the present, holding it higher, giving it a tender pat before slowly taking the paper off. He saw the side first and felt that it was leather, old and worn. He pulled the rest off in one tug and felt his heart drop.

He opened the old diary, and saw the forgotten writing of his dead mother. Saw her emotions for his father written in curved lines. This diary, this one thing he had wanted to have, had wanted to have after his mother's death. This proved that his mother and father had loved each other deeply and that he was born from that love.

As a child he had been taunted that his parents hardened been in love, their feelings were not possible. A demon and a human wench would never love truly; they were in lust, not love. He felt that if he was really born into something like that, that maybe he wasn't meant to love anybody. That nobody was meant to love him either. This diary with its deep emotion for his father from his mother showed that their love was true. It showed that he was meant to love and be loved.

The sun was setting and the light coming in from the window was becoming dimmer and dimmer and he slid down the wall. The diary was still in his arms as he crushed it to his chest and wrapped his arms around his raised legs and set his head down on his arms. The tears streamed down his cheeks, leaving wet trailed and hitting the floor lightly. He let them come and let the sorrow build.

Deeper in the city, under the same darkening sky was Kagome. The sorrow inside Kagome had been put inside a vault in the dark corner of her mind. She still saw pity in the eyes of her co-workers, still saw sudden realization when they found out who she was, or more importantly, who she _had _been married to. The bathroom light hurt her eyes and she stared into the mirror. The divorce, the new job, the new life, it was liberating in a way but also it was stressful. Her eyes were bright, glazed over with exhaustion and wouldn't lie to herself, she made sure that she didn't lie and say that she hadn't loved InuYasha. She looked at the years spent with InuYasha as an odd mixture of pleasure, pain and a twinge of disappointment. There were memories that made her heart flutter with happiness. The moment InuYasha proposed, the beautiful ring, the happiness of a new house. Yet, when she looked back on these memories, she also saw the hardships that came from them.

"Why can't it get any easier?" Kagome wondered aloud, her voice echoing along the empty bathroom. "Why do I still love him?" She yelled into her hands and slid to the floor. Alone in the empty building.

**A/N: **Alright guys, this will probably be longer.

-Irish!

P.S.: Please review!


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